Rediscovering you

We are beings constantly living in the unknown. We can plan everything to a T but that doesn’t always mean the outcome was what we each expected. Every once in a while it may be even better.

I am working towards a trust in myself that I have always questioned. My thoughts have moved in between I know I can do it. To, can I really do it? To, it’s too hard to even try to do it. I think that’s why I always bring people along on my journeys.

I remember being a child and understanding innately that I gain energy by rest and quiet peace. I have always known myself as an introvert. However, as I began not trusting myself and my decisions I have looked to others for support and guidance. It has been a constant turmoil that has followed me. It has bridged the gap to allow me to become an extroverted introvert.

A few years ago I was with a great friend and dear cousin. I had an Aha moment. At this point in time I remember thinking, expectations will be the death of me. I have worked hard to let go of expectations of others and of myself. It is a curvy road to continue to remember this, but when you let go and allow those you love to surprise you reality shifts and happiness can emerge.

I am working on my own independence in so many ways. The last two years with building my business I proved to myself that I can trust decisions that I feel with my whole body. Watching my husband be a father to our children, I can trust decisions I make easily. Watching my children lead with their hearts, I can trust that I am a good enough parent.

I am working on journaling and living a life that is authentically mine. Walking alongside individuals to help gain insight into what has been missing, or ways to heal from the obstacles that life constantly throws at us is a privilege that I can’t explain. To those that have trusted me and yourselves, thank you.

Even as I decide to post this, I think, should I put this in Chat GPT to make sure it is edited and makes sense? No, not today. Today I am trusting myself.

Addy’s Journey to her Forever Home

I have spent so much of my life aspiring to be what I have learned from others. One thing that stuck with me was being humble. What exactly does the term “humble” mean? When I look to AI the first definition that rises includes, “"Humble" generally describes someone who is not proud or arrogant, acknowledging their own limitations and the contributions of others. It's a state of being modest and respectful, often characterized by a lack of self-importance and a willingness to learn and grow” As I look further the following definition caught my eye, “To cultivate humility, focus on recognizing your limitations, valuing others' perspectives, and practicing gratitude. This means being open to feedback, seeking advice when needed, and celebrating the successes of those around you. Humility is not about having low self-esteem, but rather about acknowledging your strengths and weaknesses and treating others with respect.”

My personal definition that I created based on what others have told me, includes boasting others and ignoring my own wins. Since starting my business I am working on acknowledging that I am proud of whta I am building and continuing to build. Many individuals have helped me on my path and with their help, support and positive modeling my success would not have been feasible. At the same time i want to acknowledge my motivation and willingness to learn from others is also a part of what is makign me successful.

With that background, many people have pointed out something I accomplished that I have worked to put out there, but apparently I tend to ignore. What is that you ask? I wrote a Children’s Book that I self published. This book also won the Mom’s Choice Award. My book is entitled “Addy’s Journey to her Forever Home.” The message, “Addy, a 7-year-old Porcupine, is removed from her home due to neglect. As she moves through foster homes, her spikes grow with each trauma. Finally, she’s placed with parents that are Armadillos. They are tough enough to handle her pain, but soft enough to offer love. Through their care and therapy, Addy begins to heal. This story offers hope, resilience, and belonging to children in the foster and adoption system.”

One of my really good friends illustrated Addy’s Journey. Her help with symbolism formed a partnership that I am very proud of for us both. While one of the most difficult things for me to do is self promotion here I am taking a step in doing just that.

You Are Good Enough to Lead With Love

You are Good Enough if you Lead with Love

So many people try to make sense of why people do what they do. No two people are alike. I remember someone telling me that when your child is born remember that they are a stranger that is figuring out their way of life. It is not for you to decide for them, but you are there as a guide to help mold and support that child through this thing we call life.

This resonated so deeply with me, but often I find myself wondering why my kids did the things they did or said the things they said. I continually remind myself that they are still their own being, not mine to control so the world doesn’t hurt them. This is such a hard lesson to learn and live by.

The big thing I want to guide my kids toward is how to build healthy relationships with others through compassion and kindness. I want to show them what assertiveness means and how to stand up for themselves in the right way, not in aggressive or passive ways. I want them to believe in themselves so their dreams can become reality. Love themselves so that they have the capability to allow others to love them.

With this though, I understand they can choose what they take with them on their own journeys. As a counselor, I understand so much of how people are and what they do are the results of their environments. However, I have learned through my own family, before I ever became a counselor just how much a biological component can have an effect on a person.

My parents raised me to be strong, independent, compassionate, dream big, don’t be afraid to love with my whole heart, and how to live a full life no matter how old you are. I am grateful for who they are and what they instilled in me. I am grateful their lessons are living on in me and my children appear to be soaking up much of it.

As we grow from children to adolescents to adults we become responsible for the decisions and choices we make. Let go of those things your children do that aren’t the best. They become the ones responsible for the outcome of their lives.

This post is a reminder that as parents we do the best we can. No one is perfect and no one is the same. The good ones share a commonality that we all want love, hope, and strength for our children. When we lead with our heart we are never wrong.